Listen up, Thrashers' fans.
All ten of you.
We have a crisis on our hands. Something that demands our urgent and utmost attention. We must band together and put our collective wills into this effort. This is the latest update on voting for All-Star defensemen. Take a look at this injustice:
*Kris Letang Pittsburgh 342118
Duncan Keith Chicago 271227
Chris Pronger Philadelphia 254500
Nicklas Lidstrom Detroit 241922
Kimmo Timonen Philadelphia 204622
Brent Seabrook Chicago 177068
*P.K. Subban Montreal 172695
Drew Doughty Los Angeles 139937
Dustin Byfuglien Atlanta 133885
Brian Rafalski Detroit 127307
Paul Martin Pittsburgh 126589
Mike Green Washington 125590
Zdeno Chara Boston 94701
Marc Staal NY Rangers 81313
Andrei Markov Montreal 67627
Dan Boyle San Jose 63434
Brian Campbell Chicago 59507
Joni Pitkanen Carolina 54773
Shea Weber Nashville 54196
Dion Phaneuf Toronto 47962
Sergei Gonchar Ottawa 47056
*Brooks Orpik Pittsburgh 43779
*Tim Gleason Carolina 40087
*Josh Gorges Montreal 38348
*John-Michael Liles Colorado 35615
Tomas Kaberle Toronto 34862
Dan Hamhuis Vancouver 31884
Stephane Robidas Dallas 23949
*John Carlson Washington 23596
*Dan Girardi NY Rangers 23251
Tobias Enstrom Atlanta 21307
Buff is in 9th, and Toby is in 31st behind such luminaries as who? Kris Letang? Pffft. PK Subban? Andrei Markov? Those Habs fans are at it again, stuffing the digital ballot box. I guess they ran out of things to light on fire. Markov's injured, he can't even play. Neither can Chris Pronger. Besides, we can't let Pronger anywhere near the ASG - everything not nailed down would disappear, and that would probably include the Montreal forwards. He could stuff like, three or four of those guys in his pockets, and we'd never see them again.
Look, point is, we're running out of time, and we need to do something. My proposal: we campaign for Buffstrom '11. What is Buffstrom '11? It's the idea that the Thrashers have the best top D-pairing in the NHL, and it's time they all recognized. It's the idea that these two fine young men must both be propelled into the All-Star Game, and anything less would be... less. It's bigger than you, bigger than me, bigger than all of us. These guys are truly a team, and they belong together at this
glorified skills competition centerpiece of quality hockey. They are two halves of a whole,the sum is greater than the parts, like... like... Voltron, man. Yea, Voltron.
What about those empty cough syrup bottles? I've been sick. Don't judge me.
Listen, we need to get this off the ground. I've got some slogans done up here, and I want you guys to vote on them. We'll take the best ones and comment bomb as many places as we can. We've only got a limited amount of time remaining - we need to go all Banksy on this mother. Guerilla style, knawmean? If you have a better slogan, post it in the comments, and we'll add it to the ballot.
But before you do that, do this:
Text "Byfuglien" or "Enstrom" to 81812
Vote Buffstrom 11.
Buffstrom '11. Cause it's what the cool kids are doing.